Ed and Dorothy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels forher. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Dorothy to dance clubs,restaurants, [...]
11
Jul
2010
Ed & Dorothy
Tags: anniversary, cocktails, concerts, deep breath, golf nut, Government, head over heels, hooker, iread, museums, nextstage, relationship, restaurants, singles cruise, sleep, soul mate, theball, true love
06
Jun
2010
He & She Got Laid
HER STORY: He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been because I was a bit late but he didn’t say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more [...]
05
Jun
2010
BUMPER STICKERS FOR WOMEN
Tags: attitude, breakfast in bed, bumper stickers, coffee chocolate, estrogen, feelings, frog, god made us sisters, guilt trips, heaven, many men, mood swing, princes, princess, prozac, queen, sleep, smoke alarm, travel agent
1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME. 2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS. 3. IF THEY DON’T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN’T GOING. 4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS. 5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,SEEKS FROG. 6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. SOME THINGS [...]
05
May
2010
THERE IS SOMEBODY UNDER MY BED!
Tags: attitude, bartender, eighty dollars, fear, fears, legs, money, psychiatrist, six months, sleep, three times
EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I’VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A PSYCHIATRIST AND TOLD HIM ‘I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.’ ‘Just put yourself in my hands [...]
20
Apr
2010
WISHING YOU – IN YOUR BUSY LIFE
Tags: amp, bear hugs, bliss, exercise, good health, good sleep, lifestyle, love, many blessings, penguins, reflection, relaxation, sleep
WISHING YOU, IN YOUR BUSY LIFESTYLE, SOME TIME FOR RELAXATION & REFLECTION… GOOD SLEEP GOOD HEALTH WITH EXERCISE SOMEONE TO DANCE WITH A BIT OF ADVENTURE Good looks But most of all… I wish you … Lots of bear hugs … and the bliss of real love Many blessings come your way today: May you [...]
10
Apr
2010
Important New Heart Information
Tags: aspirin, aspirins, bayer, bedside companion, cardiologist, chest pain, deep sleep, family member, heart attack, heart attacks, intense pain, left arm, medical drugs, mixture, nausea, neighbor, sleep, snopes, sofa, tongue
Snopes.com has declared that this information is a mixture of incorrect and correct information. Snopes.com Bedside Companion: http://www.snopes.com/medical/drugs/aspirin.asp Something that we can do to help ourselves. Nice to know. Bayer is making crystal aspirin to dissolve instantly on the tongue. They work much faster than the tablets. Why keep aspirin by your bedside? About Heart [...]
09
Apr
2010
One for the Girls
Tags: age spots, Butt, dear lord, foot note, four men, girls, job, nuts, saggy, sags, shape, sleep, spoils, wrinkles
Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my shape to keep. Please no wrinkles, Please no bags And please lift my butt before it sags. Please no age spots, Please no gray And as for my belly, Please take it away. Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young, And thank [...]
28
Mar
2010
Bubba & Cooter’s Sure-fire Pick-up Lines
Tags: amp, bubba, cooter, diarrhea, fred flintstone, library card, light switch, love, mirror, mornin, nuts, parents, pick up lines, sleep, yer eyes, yer face, yer gunna, yer pants
Bubba & Cooter’s Sure-fire Pick-up Lines 1) Did you fart? cuz you just blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? cuz I’d like to sign you out 5) [...]
27
Nov
2009
Housewife of the year nominee !?!?!?
Tags: apartment, cigarettes, clorox, couch cushions, empty soda, febreeze, guess, housewife, hurricane damage, keyboard, mouse pad, oh my goodness, sleep
HOUSEWIFE OF THE YEAR NOMINEE !?!?!? SO GROSS – HOW COULD ANYONE LIVE LIKE THIS?? Remember when you last said to a visitor “sorry about the mess, I haven’t done my cleaning yet today!” – well, you’ll never say it again after seeing this!!! – this is absolutely gross..where did she sit or sleep for [...]
05
Oct
2009
How to Solve a Midlife Crisis
Tags: cars, cheap apartment, cheap car, honey, hot chick, look at my wife, mid life crisis, midlife crisis, old girl, old woman, older women, plasma screen tv, sleep, sofa bed, white tv
After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Honey, 40 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 18-year old [...]
