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POLK COUNTY FLORIDA SHERIFF GRADY JUDD An illegal alien in Polk County Florida who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop ended up ‘executing’ the deputy who stopped him.. The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at close range. Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed. A [...]

A little Jewish man is walking down the street and sees a young woman with beautiful perfect breasts. He says to her, “Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?” “Are you nuts?!” she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before [...]

This guy is 72 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day When he heard a voice say, “Pick me up.” He looked around and couldn’t see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say a gain, “Pick me up.” He looked in [...]

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.  Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.  One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.  He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed [...]

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my shape to keep. Please no wrinkles, Please no bags And please lift my butt before it sags. Please no age spots, Please no gray And as for my belly, Please take it away. Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young, And thank [...]

Bubba & Cooter’s Sure-fire Pick-up Lines 1) Did you fart?  cuz you just blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded?  cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea.  I just can’t hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card?  cuz I’d like to sign you out 5) [...]

Classification:  UNCLASSIFIED Caveats: NONE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa : half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful. Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe : well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value. Between 31 and 35, a woman is [...]