Thoughts For The Day

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Thoughts For The Day I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. Sometimes too much to drink isn’t enough. Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken. Heaven is Where: The Police are British, The Chefs are Italian, The Mechanics are German, The Lovers are French and It’s all organized [...]

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Too much

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A Russian, a Frenchman, and a Canadian walk into a bar. The Russian asks the bartender for vodka, so he gives him an entire bottle. The Russian pours out a shot, drinks it, and throws the rest of the bottle into the air and shoots it. The bartender asks, “What did you do that for?” [...]

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Joke of the day

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A local bar regular had been drinking all night. This particular night the regular drank a little more than usual. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the regular stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he’ll crawl [...]

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THERE IS SOMEBODY UNDER MY BED!

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EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I’VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A PSYCHIATRIST AND TOLD HIM ‘I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.’ ‘Just put yourself in my hands [...]

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