George Carlin’s “Ride Of Your Life”


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The Ride Of Your life – George Carlin


Enjoy the ride; There is no  return ticket

George  Carlin on aging!
(Absolutely  Brilliant)
IF  YOU DON’T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY IN  YOUR LIFE.   AND WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED, DO AS I AM  DOING AND SEND IT ON.

George Carlin’s  Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only  time in our lives  when we like to get old is when we’re kids?   If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re  so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

‘How old are you?’  ‘I’m four and a  half!’   You’re never thirty-six and a  half.   You’re four and a half, going on  five!   That’s the key.

You get into your  teens, now they can’t hold you back.   You jump to the next number, or even a  few ahead.

‘How old are you?’   ‘I’m gonna be 16!’   You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna  be 16! And then the greatest  day of your life!  You become  21.   Even the words sound like a  ceremony.  YOU BECOME  21.   YESSSS!!!

But then  you turn  30.  Oooohh, what happened  there?  Makes you sound like  bad milk!  He TURNED; we had to  throw him out.  There’s no fun now,  you’re just a sour-dumpling.   What’s wrong?   What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re  PUSHING  40.   Whoa! Put on the brakes,  it’s all slipping away.  Before you know it,  youREACH 50 and  your dreams are gone.

But  wait!!!   You MAKE it to  60.   You didn’t think you would!

So  you BECOME 21,  TURN 30,   PUSH 40,  REACH 50 and  make it to  60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT  70!   After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you  HIT Wednesday!

You get  into  your 80′s and every day is a complete  cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH  bedtime.   And it doesn’t end  there.  Into the 90s, you  start going backwards; ‘I Was  JUST   92.’

Then  a strange thing happens.   If  you make it over 100, you become a little kid  again.   ‘I’m  100 and a half!’
May  you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW  TO STAY YOUNG
1.  Throw  out nonessential numbers.  This  includes age, weight and height.   Let  the doctors worry about them.   That  is why you pay ‘them.’

2. Keep  only cheerful friends.  The  grouches pull you down.

3.Keep  learning.  Learn  more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham  radio.  Never  let the brain idle.   ‘An  idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’

4.  Enjoy  the simple things.

5.  Laugh often,  long and loud.   Laugh  until you gasp for breath.

6. The  tears happen.  Endure,  grieve and move on.   The  only person, who is with us our entire life, is  ourselves.   Be  ALIVE while you are alive.

7.  Surround  yourself with what you love  ,  whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies,  whatever.   Your  home is your refuge.

8.  Cherish  your health.  If  it is good, preserve it.   If  it is unstable, improve it.   If  it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9.  Don’t  take guilt trips.  Take  a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign  country but NOT to where the guilt  is.

10.  Tell the people you love that you love them.   At  every opportunity.
AND  ALWAYS REMEMBER  :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we  take,  but by the moments that take our breath away.
And  if you don’t send this to a friend, who cares.   We  all need to live life to its fullest each  day!!

Life’s  journey is not to
arrive at the grave safely
in a well  preserved body,
but rather to skid in  sideways,
totally  worn out, shouting “…holy sh*t …what a  ride!”

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This entry was posted on Friday, January 1st, 2010 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Advice, Age, Funny, Joke. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.