Archive for Marriage

What Do you Do All Day?

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A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and 20 wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife’s car was open, and so the front door to the house and there was no sign of [...]

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Divorce Cakes

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Divorce Cakes

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Donkey + Dog + Monkey = Man

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God created the donkey and said to him. “You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years.” The donkey answered: “I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is [...]

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Two Starving Cannibals

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Two starving cannibals, a father and son, were out trying to get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came a little old man. The son said, “Oh Dad, there’s one.” “No”, said the father. “There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed [...]

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One liners by the famous

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The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it. (Ann Bancroft) I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery. (Rita Rudner) Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding, half shut afterwards. [...]

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The Typical Husband Mentality

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The Typical Husband Mentality

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In-Laws

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An old woman had 3 daughters. One day she decided to test her three Sons-in-law. One a fine day, she was walking along a lake shore with the first son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help. The first son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out into the [...]

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Good Morning! Believe It or Not!

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Good Morning! Believe It or Not!

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Control Over Wife

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There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your [...]

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Bad Shape

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A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup,the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.” “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Try to [...]

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This is called Understanding

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A wife was very unhappy with her car and complained a lot to her husband: “Buy me a surprise for my birthday” she said. “Something that accelerates from 0 to 80 in 4 seconds”…….” And I would prefer a blue one please”! Happy and excited she was counting down the days for her birthday. And [...]

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some jokes

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course…at least he’ll shut up after you let him in! ********** A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward [...]

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