Why We Miss Rodney Dangerfield
————————-
Because he said …
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass!
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She [...]

This was attached to an email:

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology  and mixed emotions, when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, that’s a bunch of crap; I bet you can’t tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.”
She said, “You have the biggest penis of all [...]

Anything to brighten up our stressful lives…
———————————————————-
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is! the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it’s worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?
Why is air a lot [...]

A family is at the dinner table.. The son asks his father, ‘Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?’
The father, surprised, answers, ‘Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s boobs are like melons, round and firm. In
her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging [...]

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. ‘You are a disrespectful pig!’ she cried. ‘How dare you do this to me — a faithful wife, the mother of your children!  I’m leaving you. I want a divorce right [...]